1. What is Couple Loving?
Swinging is a non-monogamous behavior, in which singles or partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activities with others as a recreational or social activity.
We like to call it Couple Loving as it is something that should be done as a couple with other couples.
2. Are there Couple Lovers (i.e. swingers) in Singapore?
There is a quiet scene of couple lovers in Singapore and you would be surprised to know who they are. There is no particular race, demographic, education level or social status, and almost anyone can get in and be in the scene.
Couple Lovers are simply people who are looking to enhance their own love and sex life (with their own spouse) by exploring an area that is socially deemed to be the wild and "forbidden".
In your own love making sessions, have you ever wished that there was one more pair of hands to heighten your own or your partner's pleasure - couple loving is precisely that. It is one or more additional couples to enhance the already enjoyable sensual experience.
3. Why do people get into it?
Let's face it, sex with the same person does get a bit routine and many people have affairs, not because they do not love their spouses, but mainly due to the need for variety.
Couple loving is a way for couples to have that sexual variety while enhancing the already strong and loving relationship.
4. How can sleeping with other people enhance the love/sex life with my spouse?
It is not the act of sleeping with someone else but everything that happens before and after the event. If done correctly, it can potentially bring the couple closer as they will, at some point, talk and confront issues that had been previously left unspoken such as jealousy, insecurities, physical attraction, sexual frustrations, physical needs, etc. These are difficult issues that are often swept under the carpet and couples do not want to talk about them for fear of potential disagreement. Hence couple loving gives couples an opportunity to talk about such deep seated issues, needs and desires.
It is not easy and not all couples can overcome their insecurities. However, for those who can, they will be able to enjoy a significantly deeper level of communication with their spouse. After all, if you can talk about how much you enjoy doing the other man (or woman) with your partner or tell another person exactly how to pleasure your spouse, what else can't you talk to your partner about?
5. I am still not convinced. Won't sleeping with someone else cause my spouse to stray?
A good analogy of couple loving is like dancing. When you and your partner go social dancing, your partner can dance with other people, but, at the end of the night, they will always go back to you. They may dance with other people but it doesn't change the fact that they still love you. In this sense, couple loving is just like social dancing.
If the relationship is strong, couple loving will unlikely cause someone to stray. Conversely, if the relationship is dishonest and there is poor communication between the couple, even if they do not engage in couple loving, they may still engage in illicit affairs.
6. What is the history of swinging?
According to Terry Gould's The Lifestyle: a look at the erotic rites of swingers, swinging began among American Air Force pilots and their wives during World War II. The mortality rate of pilots was high, so, as Gould reports, a close bond arose between pilots that implied that pilot husbands would care for all the wives as their own—emotionally and sexually—if the husbands were away or lost. Though the origins of swinging are contested, it is assumed American swinging was practiced in some American military communities in the 1950s. By the time the Korean War ended, swinging had spread from the military to the suburbs. The media dubbed the phenomenon wife-swapping.
7. What are the rules for couple loving?
Different couples might impose different sets of rules. In our situation, we have just 3 golden rules:
a. WOMEN CALL THE SHOTS!
We love and respect our wives. We want the guys whom they are intimate with to be as loving and respectful. So the top golden rule is that the women call the shots.
b. Medical check up and protection is a must
We believe in playing safe so protection is a must. Medical check-up is also a must to give everyone a peace of mind. More importantly, to us, it is not the test but the willingness to be responsible and to take the test that speaks volumes.
c. The couple must be in a healthy and loving relationship.
Couple loving is done to enhance the relationship. It is not meant to be a way out of a failed relationship. Hence being in a strong relationship is a must.
8. What types of "couple loving" are there?
There are many different levels of involvement when couples want to get involved in couple loving. These can broadly be classified into the following 3 categories:
a. Watch and be watched. This is the "mildest" type of couple loving. At this stage, couples simply get physically intimate with their own partners in the presence of one or more other couples. It is like watching other couples do a live porn act while having fun with their own spouse.
b. Soft couple loving (aka soft swing). This is widely understood as there being no penetration with anyone other than your own partner. It might involve being able to touch and physically interact with someone other than your own spouse, and may or may not involve oral sex. The limits of the interaction are usually agreed upon before the session starts. Hence, this classification spans a large range of possibilities, all the way from just some cross touching, to everything but penetration.
c. Full couple loving (aka hard swing). This is when you are willing to explore penetration and other kinky desires with your couple lover. It usually happens after several rounds of soft couple loving when the couples lovers are all comfortable with one another to let things evolve to a full-on physically intimate experience.
Couples who want to try couple loving should be very specific about their boundaries and communicate them before a session. In all couple loving situations, you choose your own boundaries, and it's best to be as open about them as possible to ensure that things do not go further than what you feel comfortable with.
9. How do I convince my partner to give couple loving a try?
There is only one way... TALK!
Couple loving is about spicing up a married/steady couple's love life by engaging in physical intimacy with other people. Thus it is important to communicate with your partner to know what he/she wants. It is important to note that different people have different views towards swinging and it may take time for your partner to open up.
For males who wish to convince their other half, it is important to reassure your wives and girlfriends that it is not for your own benefit! You should let them know that it turns you on to see them enjoy themselves and that you will not see her any differently. From our experience, ladies are hesitant to do it as they are concerned that their partners would see them negatively if they appear too keen with the idea. If they are reassured that couple loving will enhance the level of communication and intimacy with their husbands, fiance and boyfriends, you can be sure that they will gradually open up and eventually embrace the idea.
10. How does one get started? What generally happens during a meet up?
There is no one single way to get started. In our case, we generally like to chat with prospective couples online or via SMS for a period of time before meeting up for coffee or drinks.
The first meet up is solely for drinks and we do not engage in any activity. This is because we want everyone (esp. the ladies) to be fully comfortable before proceeding. You might need time as a couple to talk over your views of the prospective couple before making a decision, hence, agreeing not to engage in any activity on the first meeting does not impose any unnecessary pressure on either couple. We are looking for a suitable couple lover to share physical pleasures with and we are NOT out to do every couple we come across. The thing that can kill any lady's interest in couple loving is when she feels that she is pressured into doing it and she is only engaging in the act to satisfy her partner's demand. If that happens, the ladies will feel used and resentful, and you can be sure that they will definitely not enjoy an experience that was meant to enhance the relationship.
Have more questions or comments? Write to us at happysgcouple@gmail.com. We hope to hear from you.
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